conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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