just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
