I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
