He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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