Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That accounts for only three of the penises
You can't just leave with hair like that
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
