Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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