More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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