She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
