he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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