oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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