considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
