so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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