btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
