i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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