The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
