I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
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