Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
