You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
