Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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