she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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