this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Such a big mess for such a small penis
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
