is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
