After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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