some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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