ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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