do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
