Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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