More tranny stories later!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
