Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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