If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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