used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize