last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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