My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
