I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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