one might say we're banned from that church
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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