When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
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Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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