South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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