I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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