they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
