It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
