He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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