Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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