So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
