I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize