Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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