So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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