Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is Oprah even human
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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