It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
