I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
