Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
