ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
