It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize