All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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