so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
