I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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