We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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