Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
