he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
