I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
