Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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