Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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